i've got SOMETHING to say

wht if...
i say.im leaving?
so sudden?where you going?
wht if ..
i say,im gonna leave to a damn freaking far away place.
so far?wht freaking place?
wht if..
i say,im going to a almost 24hour flight place?
so long?wait,are you joking?
wht if..
i say,im not?
so.....are you sure?
wht if..
i say,im sure tht ths is true
so,where's the place then
wht if..
i say,the place where i was born.
so,wht for you go there?
wht if..
i say,my mum read my one of the post in my blog which i complained abt my life here and want to get out so badly and wished to get bck to the place where i was born and start a whole new life and my mum decided to let me go?
so,where were you born agn?
wht if..
i say,the united states of america
so,will there be tough for you?
wht if..
i say,it should be,i dnt knw yet bt there's my uncle and aunt ovr thr to help,would it be better?
so,are you sure you going by urself?out there alone?
wht if..
i say,i dnt knw y god has to ply tricks on me,i already cnt believe tht my mum want to send me to usa next month and i told one of my besties,thoolaikuan and she thot i was joking i kept saying tht im serious,she told me tht,last firday,her dad suddenly wante to send her there too!SAME PLACE!omg,wtf?i really cnt believe it,i thot tht she were jk so i called her up,in the phone i cn hear tht she's serious,i cn hear sobbing.so,it's true then.i cnt believe it.i asked whn is she going she says she wants to e with me as such she;s going with me too on next month,i knw ths doesnt seems real bt i cnt believe it either! perhaps ths is called FATE.
so,tht means,you are leaving soon?when?
wht if..
i say next month.
so,means ths is good bye?
wht if..
i say nt really,there's still hope for me to stay here,my dad wont agree bt if he says if i really really freaking really want to go then its fine with him,he gave me some time to think.as such,i need some time to thk.all these are nt sure bt i cnt ensure you tht im 100% nt leaving,i really need ths new life,bt i cnt let go ths life im having now,i want shuais,i want my besties,i want my family and i want my gummy.
thts all i want to say bt then,it's vry embarrasing if you guys spread ths news cuz im really nt sure yet,if i ended up didnt go,evryone sure will like uhhh i dnt knw,thk negatively on me?somethng like tht,i dnt knw.i cnt predict wht will happen in all these posibilities including ths big news.
love shuais,hearts,sarah.